Big news in the world of tidying up!
Marie Kondo - queen of all things neat and tidy - has decided trying to keep a house spotless when you have small children is a waste of fucking time.
Those are my words, not hers.
She put it a little more elegantly, in that she’s realised it’s more important to prioritise time with her new family than it is to keep a clutter-free house.
I don’t want to sound like I’m mocking Queen Marie.
I was converted to her methods of folding, tidying and storing during COVID, and she talks a lot of sense.
She inspired me to get rid of loads of stuff I was hoarding and to organise my drawers and cupboards in a logical way, and I really think that eased some of the ADHD-associated problems I have with stuffing cupboards and losing things, but I’ve by no means been a tidy freak since employing her methods.
I’ve found a comfortable middle ground somewhere between obsessively minimal and cluttered as fuck.
And when the grandchildren are here, I don’t give so much as crawling copulation about the ancillary pandemonium.
I can just imagine the scene in Marie’s house a few months after her third child was born, she’s surrendering to the chaos, lying back on her snot-covered sofa with a large G&T and a fag, sighing, “Fuck this! You lot crack on - I’m going to Google topless Tom Higgelstone…”
I’m pleased, for the sake of all parents who ever beat themselves up for not having spotless ‘Gram-ready houses, that she’s admitted her priorities have changed, and she’s not putting herself under needless pressure - even when her fortune was founded on All Things Tidy.
When we see other people’s lives and feel inspired to be like them, it’s worth bearing in mind their lives will always have different demands than yours.
When you’re a business owner listening to successful marketing gurus, don’t feel bad you aren’t all over everything like they are. Marketing is their job - they are marketing to people about marketing! It’s rare that they’re trying to run a completely different business at the same time.
Similarly, don’t feel bad when you see the 90 year old who didn’t discover weight training in their 70’s squatting more than you - let’s face it, they’ve probably got fuck all else to do but go to the gym!
Good on them, but don’t feel bad about yourself when you’re also working on your career and spending time with your young family.
I’m not saying you should give yourself lame excuses, but notice where you are with your own life, and give yourself credit for all the things you achieve every day before being hard on yourself for not being tidy enough/strong enough/successful enough/perfectly groomed enough blah de blah de blah.
Make progress by all means, but celebrate what you’re getting right rather than beat yourself up for all the things you’re not doing.