I have a dirty little secret.
Actually, it’s not a secret, and it doesn’t feel dirty to me.
I’ve been bankrupt.
I’m glad I have been, because it’s liberated me from fear and Stupid Pride.
Note I say “Stupid Pride” not to be confused with Noble Pride, which is the kind of pride that makes you want to deliver the best service and products.
The kind of pride that gives you a warm feeling to hang your name above the metaphorical door to your business.
Stupid Pride made me embarrassed about selling my huge house and super-cars when my first business failed.
Stupid Pride made me ashamed of telling the mums at the private school gate that I couldn’t afford the fees any more.
Stupid Pride made me red-faced at the thought of passing someone on the street who knew I wasn’t a “big-shot” any more.
Bankruptcy sits you on your arse and humbles in a good way.
It makes you appreciate the things you don’t pay for are the most precious - your health, your family, your friends (and you get to know who your real friends are at lightning speed…).
It also helps vaccinate you against money fears, because once you realise life goes on after the money stops, you stress less when things get tight in the future.
When COVID 19 first hit the news, I asked the Jaguar dealership for a valuation on my F Type in case I had to offload it in a hurry.
At that point, I didn’t know if any of my clients were going to carry on working with me.
I didn’t just hope it would be OK at the start of a global pandemic - I zoned in on the worst case scenario and got a good idea of what life could look like.
I didn’t feel fearful.
It just felt like preparing to go on a trip and packing everything I’d need: Sunscreen - Check, Mosquito Spray- Check, Travel Insurance - Check, Plan to offload expensive car - Check.
The sales guy looked so embarrassed, bless him!
He spoke in hushed tones, as if I had asked him how to get rid of pubic lice.
I wasn’t fazed in the least.
In the classic book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” Susan Jeffers talks of 3 levels of fear:
Level 1 fears are fears of things that happen, such as illness or accidents, or things that require action such as public speaking or a driving test.
Level 2 fears are inner states of mind such as rejection or failure.
Level 3 Fears are simply stated as “I can’t handle it”. For example “I can’t handle illness” or “I can’t handle failing my driving test”.
The truth is, if you knew you could handle falling ill or failing your driving test, then what would you fear?
Answer: Nothing!
The real value of this information is you can handle all your fears without having to control the outside environment. You no longer have to control what your partner does, or your friends do, or the economy does, because you know you’ll be able to deal with whatever is thrown at you. It’s a liberating head space to inhabit.
One of the most important things to remember is most of what you fear will never actually happen.
Fears are a good thing to remind yourself of when you’re setting goals.
Stupid fear can prevent you from setting great goals - you don’t want to feel silly if you don’t achieve them
Fuck that!
Set them anyway!
If you want encouragement and support in setting next quarter's goals
then get on board our next 90 day Breakthrough