There’s a lot to be said for the quote, “Be kind, for every man you know is fighting a hard battle”.
When you’re having a tough time, you might look at people around you and think life must be easy for them but, through many years of coaching, I feel as if I’ve had the privilege of seeing how true that quote is in real life, not just in social media memes.
That’s why I do a lot of work on resilience with my clients.
Resilience is more than just bouncing back; it's about adapting, learning, and growing from adversity. It's the capacity to maintain your sense of self-worth, purpose, and inner peace even when life seems to be screwing you over.
Cultivating resilience equips us to face setbacks and view them as stepping stones and opportunities for growth.
Resilience as a muscle that needs consistent training.
There’s rarely a day goes by when I don’t talk about one or all of these resilience-strengthening aspects:
- Positive Self-Talk: What you say to yourself about yourself. Self-beatings, often triggered by a cock-up (we’re all human after all!) aren’t good for you if you don’t quickly reframe the mistake and forgive yourself. Being kind to yourself is critical for resilience.
- Stress Management: This is multi-faceted, and can range from things like prioritising, planning and progress tracking, good self care, and taking time out of your day to walk and breathe if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
- People: Connect with people who support you rather than drain you, and ask for help if you need it - weirdly you can go into a “I MUST DO ALL THIS SHIT MYSELF!” mode when you’re overwhelmed.
- Embracing change: Sometimes life completely T-bones you, and you find yourself in a situation you aren’t prepared for. At times like this you need to actively seek out the reasons why change is a good thing, or the negative talk will kick in and you’ll only see what’s wrong. Resilience comes from adaptability and flexibility.
- Gratitude: The number one antidote to feeling down is gratitude. Science says so. Even when you think you have nothing to be grateful for, if you look hard enough, you’ll find things such as having friends, pets, a bed to sleep in etc.The simple things are often taken for granted, but they’re the things we’d miss most if they weren’t there.
Resilience isn't about eliminating challenges, but about empowering yourself to face them with confidence and resourcefulness.