crouching to pee

I’m cool with crouching to pee…

I was chatting with an old friend yesterday about my ADHD diagnosis, specifically how I don’t see the so-called label as anything negative. 

I don’t know if it’s because my years of coaching training have taught me to focus on the positives, but I see my diagnosis as a 100% helpful thing. 

I now know I need different strategies to most people to keep myself on track. 

I need lists (sometimes I rewrite lists to drill them into my brain!)

My day would fall apart rapidly if I didn’t use Google calendar. I still make the odd mistake with timekeeping, so I’d never apply for a job to keep trains running on schedule in Tokyo, but I’m cool with that. 

I need alarms and reminders. In fact sometimes I need reminders to set alarms, and I’ll still key in the wrong times and turn up for an appointment an hour early, but I don’t lose sleep over the odd cock-up.

I understand exercise and meditation are essential parts of my life now - they help settle me to focus on my work. 

I understand why I need to wear little ear defenders when the acoustics in a room hurt my ears or drain my energy. 

I understand why I need more time alone than most people to recharge my batteries. 

I think focusing on strategies to help navigate your way through the world more easily is an essential part of using a diagnosis for helpful reasons rather than choosing to feel upset by a label.

I see the ADHD label as no different from the label of “female”. 

It’s something that’s part of who I am, and if I focus on the negatives then life will feel very unfair.

For instance, I could choose to feel very upset about the fact that my “female” label means I can’t take a stand-up p*ss! 

I’m not gonna lie, on cold days I would rather have something I could pull out of my warm trousers to relieve myself rather than exposing my nether regions and holding my breath as my butt makes contact with an icy toilet seat.

And, when I’m out taking a long walk in the countryside, I have to either hold on to a very full bladder or go out of my way to find a private spot to reveal my undercarriage and hope and pray I avoid nettles, wasps or (as has happened) my dog,Eddie, bowling up and knocking me over mid-flow!

I accept I need to have different strategies to the other half of the population, and I just get on with it. 

I don’t stand with my back to the road, open my flies and urinate down my leg because I refuse to be labelled as female!

I’m cool with crouching to pee. 

I’m content to be different, especially because I can do things that men can't do, like lift up a toddler and take a welly boot kick to the crotch without so much as flinching. 

It’s how you look at life that affects your happiness, not the cards you’re dealt.