Recently, I had the grave misfortune of listening to Sir Kier Starmer warning us about how we were all going to suffer in October because the Conservatives had been Very Naughty Boys.
He was like a headmaster standing up in a school assembly saying the spolit, bratty popular kids had ruined it for everyone again. He rammed the point home by making his address to the nation from the very same rose garden that Boris and his cronies held their debauched lock-down parties in during COVID, when we good children were diligently doing our homework.
Now, I’m as political as I am religious i.e. not at all, and I don’t think Sir Kier is a good person or a bad one, but I did get a shudder of fear when he warned of hard times ahead.
Luckily, I’ve been doing some work recently with clients about ‘thought disputation’, which is the mainstay of the Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy technique I’m training in.
The technique takes you through a process of recognising thoughts that trigger you, and then choosing better thoughts, and this alters how you feel emotionally and physically.
I’ll take you through the process using my own experience yesterday:
Trigger Situation: Hearing Sir Kier Starmer telling the UK that there would be difficult times ahead for the nation as his government strives to get us out of the mess that the previous government allegedly put us in.
Automatic Negative Thoughts: Shit! This could make business really tough! Plus living costs are likely to go up. ALSO, F.U. Kier for saying the ones with the ‘broadest shoulders’ will bear the brunt of the burden - I work with some incredibly hard working clients who put blood, sweat and tears into their businesses, employ people, and spend money that creates further jobs, but you’re going punish them for being wealthy. ALSO F.U. Conservatives for being slippery little twits who’ll do anything to get votes. I want to move to Mars.
Subjective Unit of Distress: On a scale of 1-100 of how crap do I feel when I have this thought? (1 = Best Possible Feeing / 100 = Worst Possible Feeling) 25
Evidence in favour of my automatic negative thought: There has never been a government in history that has got it completely right for everyone. Times inevitably get tough and it’s quite likely that the measures the government will put in place will affect the types of people who are our clients.
Evidence against my automatic negative thoughts: Throughout history, there are always people who continue to make money in tough economic situations, and there are always people who are able to lead happy and fulfilling lives regardless of of what’s happening in their bank accounts. Happiness is a choice, and it’s not dependent on a set of perfect circumstances. It’s good to be challenged because that is where personal growth occurs.
Alternative Realistic Thoughts that are more helpful to me: My happiness is not dependent on my economic situation, and it is something I have complete control over. If I focus on everything that is right with my life right now, rather than spending time worrying about what may or may not happen in the future, then my daily life experience will be positive. In that place of happiness, I am more likely to make good decisions about my business, rather than knee-jerk reactions based on fear (PLUS the added benefit of avoiding the heavy moving costs of relocating to Mars) PLUS maybe Sir Kier really will be able to sort the country out by being tough with us all. I’ve gone through tough times before and I don’t regret the growth and learning that has taken place.
Subjective Unit of Distress (SUD) with revised thought: On a scale of 1-100 of how crap do I feel when I have this thought? (1 = Best Possible Feeing / 100 = Worst Possible Feeling) 5
It’s almost magical how you can shift from feeling really triggered, annoyed or fearful to feeling as if you are in a good place just by disputing your negative thoughts and replacing them with better ones.
Note how it’s not a case of denying negative thoughts and sweeping them under the carpet.
I’m acknowledging the validity of the negative thoughts and recognising they aren’t completely unfounded, but I’m looking for a different perspective that helps me recognise that I do still have control over aspects of my life, and sometimes good things can come from bad situations.
My SUD didn’t fall to zero because I’m not totally happy about the thought of Headmaster Starmer’s impending school detention, but I’m feeling much more empowered than I did when I first heard the news.
Are there any thoughts you need to dispute today?