Why do you sometimes have a sad face when you’ve achieved something big?
Our guest speaker at our quarterly event, James Benson-King, was really fascinating to listen to, and my partner Kev and I found it particularly interesting hearing about how James felt at the end of his year-and-a-half journey cycling across the Americas.
He went through a short period of feeling quite down and empty.
Kev’s ears pricked up at this because a few weeks ago, the day after we finished our 14-hour, 35-mile walk across Dorset, he said he couldn’t understand why he felt absolutely no positive emotions after achieving our goal. At best, he felt neutral, but he was verging on feeling quite low.
Now, our little expedition was small-fry in the big scheme of things, but it was a big deal for us, and James explained that this feeling is very common in people who achieve such goals. The anticipation of the event, and the doing it is absorbing and challenging, and to be on the other side of it with nothing left to do can feel quite bewildering.
I’m sure it’s also connected to physical exhaustion for endurance athletes, but it can happen with any kind of challenge that absorbs you for a long period of time - suddenly, the thing you spent so much time thinking about isn’t there any more, and there is an empty space.
James said it took him just ten days to decide on his next challenge, because he recognised his happy place was in the planning and doing rather than the actual accomplishment of the goal.
I think that’s worth remembering if your efforting with any kind of goal or challenge. It’s very likely you will be getting most jollies from the journey rather than the arrival, even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
So, why bother at all?
Well, Kev has found more enjoyment in looking back on the photos and memories of our walk in recent days than in the period immediately after we did it. Time has helped him process and appreciate what we did.
If you look back on your life, maybe you felt a bit underwhelmed when you achieved something big, but looking back on it gives you a sense of pride and achievement, making it all worthwhile,
So, if you’re struggling with anything right now, remember one day, you could look back on this and recognise it was a time when you grew the most, and it gave you more than it took away.