I’m sorry - you can’t unsee this table!
It seems like such a long time ago now, but at Christmas I almost tipped myself over the edge cooking for 16 people!
Catering for large parties is well outside my comfort zone, and at one point my daughter’s partner said he noticed I stopped in my tracks every now and again like a buffering computer - eyes fixated on one spot while my ADHD brain recalibrated.
Still, it all happened - everyone got fed, and the best thing was Kev inadvertently constructed the biggest joke of the year that still makes me p*** myself when I look at it:
Our usual dining table only seats six, so we brought in a couple of desks to extend the seating area.
I couldn’t see a problem with that at all - I put matching table cloths over them all and we gathered chairs from hither and thither to seat everyone.
I was feeling pretty smug with our efforts - in my mind we’d created a rather fabulous swanky dining room.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well…
Halfway through the first course (a rather fabulous roasted pepper and tomato soup I’d effortlessly (not!) whipped up earlier) one of my womb-fruits said, “Mum, have you noticed the shape of the table?”
“Huh?”
Then I had a proper look.
Without realising it, Kev had fashioned a spectacular 12 foot penis for us all to dine around!
I was lucky I didn’t blow soup out of my nose at that point. I haven’t laughed so hard in ages!
It still makes me chuckle now!
I think it’ll have to be a family tradition going forward - the grandchildren will grow up subconsciously thinking there’s some festive significance to eating around a phallus, and why shouldn’t there be?
It’s no weirder than kissing under mistletoe, or decorating pine trees with glittery testicle-shaped-things.
The coaching lesson here is that sometimes the best moments in life happen completely by accident and great times can happen when you least expect them!
I had no idea my happiest moment over Christmas would be spent laughing at how hilarious my father-in-law looked innocently sitting atop a mega-knob.
I mean, you can’t plan that kind of thing, can you?
I’m sharing the pic of the table, but I’ve greyed out the faces to protect the dignity of my family…erm…members.
Hope it provides you with a good post-Christmas giggle!