As part of my goal to go on six dates with Kev this quarter (yes, I really do have to set goals like this or we both forget!) I booked us tickets to see Oppenheimer.
I don’t often get excited about new releases at the cinema, but I really loved Cillian Murphy in Peaky Blinders, and I also tend to enjoy films based on true events, (even though my favourite film of all time is Con Air) so it felt like a great choice.
I don’t want to take anything away from this film because it was beautifully put together with great actors and stunning cinematography, but my ADHD brain was off all over the place whilst I was watching it, and I found it hard to follow the intricate twists and turns.
I used to get really cross with myself about my focus and concentration. I used to think, “I’m an intelligent person - why can’t I follow the plot in certain films?”
This is my version of Oppenhiemer:
Cillian Murphy walks on screen.
I can see his mouth move, but my brain is already off on a journey of its own:
“Should I re-watch Peaky Blinders, or would that be a dreadful waste of time considering there are so many other things I could be watching?
Cillian has amazing blue eyes.
They did DNA testing on the remains of a cave man at Cheddar Gorge and he was unexpectedly found to have blue eyes.
I wonder if they were as blue as Cillian’s.
I wonder how tall he is.
How tall is Tom Cruise?
Ooh. Oppenheimer knew Albert Einstein!
Wow. I’d love to be in a room with those two.
Einstein wasn’t a great mathematician, but he had an extraordinary imagination.
He imagined himself chasing a beam of light.
That’s how he came up with the Theory of Special Relativity.
Or was it the General Relativity?
I wish I’d paid more attention in physics lessons.
I wonder if Dr Clarke is still alive? I really liked him.
Oppenheimer is kissing a brunette. Is that his wife or his lover?
Shit! I always get characters mixed up because I don’t pay attention.
Who’s that dude in a suit? Is he a goody or a baddy? He looks like all the other dudes in suits.
Dammit. If actors look similar I actually can’t tell who’s who.
Concentrate…Concentrate…
Cillian’s American accent is great! I wonder how long it took him to perfect it.
I wonder what dialect he’s speaking. Some people can pick up subtle nuances in dialects to the nearest town. That’s mind blowing…
WOAH! Big explosion! This cinema is loud!
I wonder if they can hear this is Screen 2?
I wonder what materials they use for sound insulation in cinemas.
Would I design a cinema room into our new home? I always think cinema rooms look a bit naff on Pinterest.
They look like a waste of space considering how often you use them.
I mean, it’s not like you’d want to watch everything in the cinema room, is it?
How would I feel being invited to a friend's house to watch a film in their cinema room?
I think it would feel almost as awkward as being invited into their hot tub.
Yeah. I think people who have cinema rooms probably have hot tubs. Most likely swingers…
Upside pineapples. That’s how you can tell swingers’ houses.
Oh yuk, I bet they have sex in their cinema rooms.
Toupees and gold chains. NOOOO!
Back to the film.
What's happening now?
The End.”
Every so often, there was an explosion or similar dramatic scene that stopped my thoughts in their tracks and fully grabbed my attention, but I was mostly in what I call “Screen Soup”.
I’m learning to enjoy Screen Soup.
I remind myself my ultimate goal is to be entertained, so I grab whatever I can from what I’m watching, and also enjoy my own little thought diversions.
Are there any parts of your personality you find annoying or embarrassing?
Learning to love yourself exactly as you are is an important part of developing healthy self esteem.
Of course you can set yourself self improvement goals, but don’t forget to embrace your quirks as well - they’re part of what make you unique, and they can often be your secret sauce - if my brain didn’t work like this I might not be able to coach as well as I do - the ability to make mental connections and find a new ways of approaching things is vital in my job!
So, keep doing you, and recognise where a so-called problem is really your secret sauce.