It would be understandable for you to assume that because I’m a coach my life is perfectly planned out, and those plans are rigorously adhered to, and I glide through my life like a swan.
The truth is, shit happens in my life just as it does in yours, and all the perfectly crafted plans I make at the beginning of the quarter - seeded in neat rows for harvesting in 12 weeks time - can end up either eaten by birds or shat upon by a herd of marauding wildebeest.
As I enter the final month of the year, the glaring realisation that some of the goals I set myself in September haven’t a hope in hell of coming to fruition, I have a choice to make.
I either:
A: Get thoroughly upset and feel like a big fat failure.
B: Regroup, and set myself up to finish the year with a new definition of success.
C: Both
I went for Option C, not least because I think it’s OK to sit with yourself now and then to notice how you feel, and truly understand what’s important to you.
One of the goals I set myself this quarter was to have all my Christmas shopping done by the end of October. Last year, I ended a lifetime pattern of Christmas chaos by doing exactly that, and it felt amazing.
My smugness in November knew no bounds. I laughed at last-minute shoppers!
This year, I find myself once again staring down the barrel of a loaded Tinsel Cannon with less than half of my gift list bought, and the harsh reality that I’m out of the country for most of this week with Kev doing personal development and assault course stuff.
And don’t even get me started on assault courses, because another one of my goals was to get as fit as a flea for Mike’s Gym in Marbella coming up Saturday, and I've spent much of this quarter unable to train properly due to coughs and colds, and last week a sickness bug.
So, now I’ve finished having a bit of a sulk at my performance this quarter, I’ve decided to set new markers for success for December.
So, f*ck what September Vicki thought I could do - what did she know? She certainly wasn’t smart enough to factor in how much time and energy it was going to take to do my hypnotherapy course.
She also didn’t plan for the extra time needed to get up and running with our business makeover for January.
Man, that bird was deluded!
So, a wiser, kinder “December Vicki” has taken the reins, and I like her much more.
She’s gone into the diary and replanned the month, taking out any unnecessary extras like the webinar Kev and I were going to put on, and made sure everything deemed essential (like a time to put up Christmas decorations and shop for the family party) has a time slot so I’m not just trying to cram stuff in here and there.
So, if you’re looking down your own loaded Tinsel Cannon for one reason or another, either because you don’t feel remotely prepared for Christmas, or you’re worried about running out of working days to get everything done before the year is through, ask yourself what needs to change to help you feel as if you’re ending the year on a high?
Are there things you can strike off your list that aren’t essential?
Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to tie everything up in a neat end-of-year bow, when really some things can be postponed?
As Bertrand Russell said, “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.”
One good question to ask yourself if you’re feeling stressed or disappointed with yourself is, “Will this matter in 10 years time, or even a year's time?”
Most likely it won’t.
To some people, that might seem like a defeatist attitude, but who’s the real winner - the person who runs themselves ragged and still feels like a failure on New Year’s Eve, or the one with a big smile on their face and energy to give to their loved ones over Christmas because they adjusted expectations and gave themselves a new definition of success?